Silent Hill: Compliation of Short Stories
by The Nirvana that Feeds
Summary: Twosided stories of The Author's second chance of Fanfiction fame, and stories consisting of Silent Hillrelated adventures With domestic violence and British humour. For fans of new and old of this Fanfiction Archive.
1. Rhett 1: His Second Chance

**The Compilations of Silent Hill Short Stories**

_By Rhett Gardner_

Chapter One: Rhett's Second Chance INT-RHETT'S LIVING ROOM- MORNING 

Rhett, now a lot older and has a goatee, is typing at a traditional rapid-ness on Word Processor, proud with what he is typing so far.

RHETT: And just some more proofreading, and (Saves) done! (Prints out file) this new novel is going to get me recognized in the publishing business and I'm going to make millions! (Finishes printing) Ha, nothing's going to stop me now!

Then suddenly, someone kicks through the window in the Living Room, and takes off the mask that was worn. It turns out to be a man in a business suit, with slicked back short hair, and is always in an energetic and eccentric mood. He's always talking in a very rapid pace.

MYSTERIOUS MAN: Why hello there Rhett, it's finally nice to meet you, I'm the Assistant of the CEO of How are you?

RHETT: (Furious) Why the hell did you go through the window of my house, man?!

ASSISTANT: Please, call me Jason. My CEO had me here to talk to you about a business proposal.

RHETT: You STILL didn't didn't explain-

JASON: That's what I was get to, young Rhett. It appears that you was one of the most well known Silent Hill authors along with Wrath, E.P.O, TheTrueSonOfJenova, and such other people, am I right?

RHETT: Well, not so famous-

JASON: That's fantastic! Now, we read your unfinished story, Silent Hill: Start of a Race, the title was alittle off-putting, but the humour was fantastic, no matter how plagiarised! What ever happened at the end anyway?

RHETT: Umm, everybody dies except Rhett.

JASON: Oh…. ok then. ANNNNNYYWAAAY, the proposal was that you signed an Eight-Story contract, the subject being Silent Hill, to help increase more of an audience.

RHETT: Ummm, sounds cool, but why me? I'm not so good at writing-

JASON: WE JUST TRUST YOU MAN! Also, you'll have to do some touring and meet VIPs in order to promote your stories. (Now acts like a father to a baby) Do you know what VIP stands for?

RHETT: (As if it's obvious) Very Important Person.

JASON: (Pats Rhett on the head) Ahh, such a good boooy! Have a Mini-Roll, it's on me!

RHETT: (Incredibly pissed) LOOK, DO YOU WANT ME TO SIGN THE DAMN CONTRACT OR NOT?!

JASON: Here you go (Gives him contract and pen, then checks hand), where did my Mini-Roll go?

RHETT: (Munches the entire mini-roll along with the packet, then starts chewing loudly and aggressively) What the fucks are you talking about?

JASON: Nevermind, it's time to gooo! (Grabs Rhett's arm and drags him through the shattered fragments of glass)

RHETT: Heeey, that kinda tickles!

Now the two has disappeared, and then Rhett's Dad comes in through the door, with shopping bags with a large quantity of food and house-related products.

RHETT'S DAD: Rhett, it's time to help me with the shopping! (Silence) Hello? Hello?

Rhett's dad then notices the giant, gaping hole where the window should be, suspecting that Rhett has disappeared. He then, with a face of comforted privacy, takes out a hidden cardboard cutout of Honey Rider.

RHETT'S DAD: Ohh yeah baby, you can call me Dr. YES!


	2. Story 1: The Infantile Ones 1

**The Silent Hill Compilations of Short Stories**

_By Rhett Gardner_

_This is for The Young Ones, and Bottom, for the most simplistic and most brilliant piece of comedy artwork_

* * *

Story One: The Infantile Ones

* * *

(Part 1) INT- ASHFIELD APARTMENTS- MORNING

We see a Henry Townshend, carrying several brown paper grocery bags, walking down the corridor to reach his room (302). Once he reaches his door, he places all his bags down, searches his jean pockets, and then attempts to open the door. But then the Landlord, Frank Sunderland, pulls him away.

FRANK: Why hello their Henry, long time no see!

HENRY: (Nervous) Ummm, ha ha, hello there, Frank! Ha ha, how are you?

FRANK: I've been well, thanks, recovered from the spinal injuries you inflicted on me a few months back…

HENRY: Ha ha, well, ya know, I didn't see you on that road until (Imitates a sound of a car skidding, then the car crash)

FRANK: Ha ha, I guess you also didn't see me wave to you before you drove into me like five seconds later

HENRY: (Laughs uncontrollably, then suddenly stops)

FRANK: So, how are the other guys, then?

HENRY: (Sweating) Ummm, fine-Say I have to get in, the guys are expecting their dinners. (Starts picking up the bags)

FRANK: Here, let me help (Then picks up a bag, notices something in the bag, and takes it out) Chloroform?

HENRY: (Instantly grabs it from his hand) Ha ha, yes, it's to help me sleep at night!

FRANK: That's pretty strong stuff, isn't it? I mean, why not buy sleeping pills?

HENRY: Heh, knowing my friends, they'd probably replace it with Rat Poison! Well, ha ha, so long Frank

FRANK: (Refrains Henry from leaving) Just a minute, Henry. The reason I'm here is that you owe rent- Three months of it. Now I would kindly like to be paid now.

HENRY: (Gulps) Ummm, all right, lemme check my wallet (Pretends to search wallet in his jeans) Oh my god look! It's a man running away with an umbilical cord!

FRANK: (Looks around instantly) Now how the hell did he find my

Henry then muffles his mouth with a cloth, soaked in Chloroform. He presses it against his mouth until he stops struggling, and eventually he passes out. Henry, with a victorious smile, gets the rest of the bags and then goes inside, slamming the door behind him.

INT- HENRY'S APARTMENT- MORNING

Inside the apartment, it's very filthy, caked in blood and other substances, due to Walter's presence. Walter Sullivan and James Sunderland are sitting on the sofa, gazing upon the Television Screen. Henry enters the room.

HENRY: (Placing all bags on the kitchen table) I'm hommmme!

WALTER/JAMES: (Lazily) Alright?

JAMES: (Looks at the watch) Jesus Christ, how long did it take to get here man?

HENRY: Oh, I just had alittle encounter with your relative again…

JAMES: Ahhh, the bastard's still asking for the money?

HENRY: (Sits on spare chair) Yeah, and I can't keep running away from him forever…we have to make some money somehow…

WALTER: (In a slow, dopey voice) Right, I totally have this far out idea, yeah? We can like, protest, against the apartment building for cutting down trees to extend their building, and in exchange, we don't have to pay any more rent to keep our mouth's shut!

JAMES: (Recalling a similar even) We did that last week, Walter. In fact, the exchange was that we would walk away from NOT being assassinated by Frank's connections to the gangs around this area.

WALTER: Ahh, right…bastard.

HENRY: Anyway, I'll just put the shopping crap away first

He then walks towards the fridge in the Kitchen area, opens the door and then retaliates with great shock.

HENRY: What the hell?!

JAMES: (Curious) What happened, Henry?

HENRY: Ummm…. Walter?

WALTER: Yeah?

HENRY: You know the cat that you owned that went missing?

WALTER: Yeah…. why?

HENRY: Well, I found him (Takes out a mangled, slaughtered cat out of the fridge)

WALTER: Oh my god, no, not Skittles! (Walks over, and takes him off of Henry and holds him close)

JAMES: (Stands up) Damn-it Walter, put him away, the thing's dripping blood all over the carpet!

WALTER: (Upset) I bet it's Harry's fault, I bet he did this!

HENRY: Yeah, come to think of it, where IS Harry anyway?

JAMES: Oh, he went to try out for his piloting lessons today, he left about half an hour ago.

HENRY:…But he usually goes to the bar and gets wasted around this time

JAMES:….Oh fuck.

Then, a copter crashes into the room, with everyone ducking for cover. After many seconds, everybody then began to rise from his or her (?) hiding positions and saw a drunken man, struggling to leave the slightly damaged cockpit. The man falls to the floor, and slowly begins to stand.

HARRY: (Loud and drunk) HA HA! HELLO YOU OL BASTARDS!

* * *

_To be Continued_


End file.
